Men Can Cry, Too

February, 2024

There is no denying that we live in a patriarchal society. Men have the upper hand in almost everything, from workplace dynamics and career progression, to athletic recognition, to garnering respect in transactional settings. That being said, in the realm of mental health, women are often taken more seriously than men. Men’s mental health is far too often overlooked or ignored. Ignorance surrounding men’s mental health can quite literally take lives, and this is an essential problem to address. Men’s mental health deserves more action and more conversation.

From a young age, men are conditioned to “tough it out” or to “man up.” They are taught that crying is for the weak, that fear is cowardice, and that hiding raw emotion is a necessary standard to live up to. This is not always the case—some men are raised with awareness around normalizing emotion, and recognition of mental health concerns. I applaud those that possess this awareness and recognition. However, the aforementioned lessons are generally the norm, and if not the household norm, then the societal norm. This is where the problem starts—men growing up learning to internalize and suppress emotions.

The problem is exacerbated when boys or men begin to experience mental illnesses. Oftentimes, because of the existing stigma surrounding a man’s open expression of raw emotions or disclosure of experiences with these emotions, one is more likely to suffer in silence. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, less than half of the men struggling with anxiety or depression seek treatment. Mental Health America further states that men suffering from eating disorders are also less likely to seek support. It is not the fault of the men suffering that they find it difficult to reach out—it is the fault of a society that looks down upon men experiencing difficult emotions and/or struggles with processing them.

So, what can we do to change this? We can teach our sons and brothers that it is okay to struggle, it is okay to feel big feelings, and it is okay to cry. We can teach them that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, that there is strength to be found in admitting struggle, and that they are not alone in their experiences. We can share resources, provide support, and slowly try to systemically change a society that frowns upon men seeking help for their mental illnesses. Let’s pay more attention to the mental health of the men around us, because they may be silently struggling without our awareness.