It’s a Balancing Act
May, 2024
Nowadays, it can be SO difficult to juggle the multitude of things that life throws at us, which seem to come from all directions. Oftentimes, many people live in such a state of “go-go-go” that slowing down and finding time for oneself seems near impossible. Well, I am here to tell you that not only is it possible, but it is NECESSARY to take time and space for yourself to do things that truly re-fill your cup, whether that means going to a new coffee shop, reading a book, watching Netflix in bed, etc. How do we do this, though? How do we balance our mental, physical, and emotional wellness with the demands of everyday life? Here are a few tips that I’ve gathered, that have helped me to practice more balance on a daily basis. Believe me, I am still figuring out how to effectively do this, but I’ve come incredibly far in learning, and these are some of the lessons that I’ve learned the hard way.
Prioritize.
Sometimes, when your to-do list has 8 million things on it, you wish there were more hours in the day because you feel that you can’t possibly get everything done in a mere 24 hours, and your brain can’t seem to focus on one thing at a time because of the other 7.9 (there are more 9’s here, but you understand my point) million things there are to do, you need to stop—take a breath—and PRIORITIZE. What are the things that absolutely, 100% need to get done today? What are some things that can be pushed to tomorrow, or to next week? What is most important on the list? Let’s tackle the most important thing first, then work down from there. Budget your time according to your needs and your priorities, and if you are overwhelmed, take one thing at a time—most important first.
Plan ahead.
I hate to say it, but sometimes, you need to plan out when exactly you will take time for yourself. (I only dislike this because I feel as though taking time for yourself should not be as difficult as it sometimes is!) Is there a day this week when you’ll have the apartment to yourself and not too much going on? Maybe set aside an hour of that time to catch up on your favorite show and rest. Do you have a break between meetings at work? Maybe block off 30 minutes on your calendar to get outside and go for a quick walk. Missing your friend who lives in another state? Schedule a FaceTime or call with them to catch up! Even though planning time for yourself may seem like another chore in and of itself, sometimes it actually creates the time and space you might need to re-fill that cup and to keep showing up in other areas of your life.
Set boundaries.
I have not always been the best at setting boundaries. I am such a people pleaser, that if I was asked to do something, or if I thought someone held certain expectations of me, I would always say “yes” and try to show up in the ways that others wanted. However, I’ve learned that this isn’t always what’s best for me. It is okay to say “no”, or to say “not today, but maybe tomorrow.” It is okay if you can’t meet every expectation that others have of you—you have to put YOURSELF first. What do YOU need? What do YOU want? It is okay to be a little selfish sometimes, and to share with others that you need to do what’s best for you, and not necessarily what might be best for them. It is okay to give your energy out in ways that will, in turn, give you energy back. Likewise, it is okay to withhold energy when you feel like you’re giving too much. Remember when I spoke about priorities? Prioritize yourself first.
Communicate with your support system.
Sometimes, you need to explicitly tell your friends, family, therapists, treatment team, co-workers, etc. what it is you need. Even though we like to think that people will understand what these needs are without us putting them into words, this isn’t always the case, and sometimes isn’t a realistic expectation we can hold others to. We sometimes need to ask for what we need rather than waiting for our supports to catch on. This will mitigate frustrations that might arise from lack of effective communication and support.
Honor your needs.
As I mentioned, you need to put yourself first. Don’t stop at recognizing what it is that you need—you must then go and HONOR those needs. Take action and hold yourself accountable for doing things that build you up. Put the elements that I just mentioned into practice. Set priorities, tackling the most important things first, and honoring your need to have time for rest as well. If you need to plan out when to rest, when to go to that coffee shop, or when to call your friend, do it. Need help from that friend you’re calling? Tell them how they can help, and what you need from them specifically. Are others in your life expecting too much of you? It’s okay to say no and set boundaries. Honor your needs, always.
I am a woman, a scientist, a runner, a friend, a family member, a blogger, and so much more—we are each a sum of multiple parts, which dictate and/or influence our regular routines. Everything that makes you, you, is worth investing time into—but this time needs to be conducive to your overall mental health, too. Taking the time and space to prioritize your own well-being is vital, I’ve found, for happiness, and also vital for showing up for each of your roles as your best and most authentic self.